We’re going to continue telling you about The Fox.
HOW TO WEAR THE FOX:
- Step 1: Open the box.
- Step 2: Be prepared in case a fox jumps out. Wait, this should be before step 1. Okay, you’ll figure this out.
- Step 3: Remember that we don’t sell live foxes. Just The Fox. Then wear it on your wrist. Or don’t.
- Do you have a pet fox? You can put The Fox on your fox’s wrist. It’ll probably slip off, but hey, that’s life.
THE FOX BENEFITS & FEATURES:
- IS a bracelet.
- IS NOT a rabid, dangerous animal.
- IS able to be worn on your wrist.
- IS NOT able to bite you or bring a legitimate safety concern to your household.
- IS a reasonable gift to give your friend or boyfriend or whatever. You can tell him it’s safe.
THE FOX FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
I feel like you guys are over-emphasizing the fox thing to make me suspicious of other bracelets, but at the same time, I’m having trouble not imagining the possibility of finding a live fox in my package because of how defensive you’re being about not having foxes.
- Was there a question in there?
Also, what’s it made of?
- Stainless steel.
HOW TO CLEAN & MAINTAIN THE FOX:
- For one thing, you won’t need a vacuum. No pesky hairs or whiskers to deal with.
- Don’t feed your bracelet. It isn’t a sentient being.
- Wash with soap and water, gently. Nothing too complicated.
Pro-Tip: The only thing to fear is fear itself. And surprise foxes.
If you buy this and the shipping company mixes it up with a real fox, we’re going to be so embarrassed.