Here’s how to open an account at The Bank.
HOW TO WEAR THE BANK:
- Stop worrying about your health insurance.
- Put on this bracelet.
- Then you’re done.
THE BANK BENEFITS & FEATURES:
- A bracelet that lets you forget your economic anxieties.
- And makes other people think you don’t have any.
- Conspicuously consume with The Bank.
- Even if you don’t have any money in the bank.
THE BANK FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Do I get money with my purchase of The Bank?
- Unfortunately, no.
Can I go swimming in The Bank?
- Not in chlorine! And wash it off if you go in salt water.
HOW TO CLEAN & MAINTAIN THE BANK:
- Warm water.
Protip: You can use a Q-tip to clean those hard to reach details.
Laugh (instead of crying) all the way to the bank when you wear this bracelet.