Menu

Ships SAME BUSINESS DAY from NYC if Ordered Before 1:00pm EST | Get FREE Hand Sanitizer When You Order Any 2 Items!

No products in the cart.

Metro New Acrylic Collection

We added some new men’s chains to our collection, and now we’re going to tell you about those chains.
You don’t have to keep reading, but you’d make the writer we paid to do this happy if you did.
(Seriously, they have kind of a need-to-please complex.)

Alright, here’s the deal.

 

We added some new men’s chains to our collection, and now we’re going to tell you about those chains.

 

You don’t have to keep reading, but you’d make the writer we paid to do this happy if you did.

 

(Seriously, they have kind of a need-to-please complex.)

 

But it’s whatever. Whatever you feel about new chain necklaces and bracelets. Ones you can wear with clothes. Lots of different kinds of clothes. We’ll talk about that and how these are not cool. 

 

Literally.

 

The chains don’t get cold because they’re coated in acrylic. 

 

And jewelry doesn’t make people inherently better or worse than others, so yeah, not cool.

 

Anyway, here’s the new sh*t. Buy it if you like it. Close this tab if you don’t. Your call.

The Franco

What’s a Franco? Either the guy you love to hate or the guy who can be best described as “WTF.”

 

It’s also a style of men’s chain created by Italian manufacturers. You can tell it’s a Franco by its V-shaped links (don’t get any ideas ⁠— we went over this kind of crude humor in our blog about nuts).

 

Our new Franco chains are stainless steel red and blue acrylic. Like we said, acrylic=good because cold metal=bad. Here they are:

Now, here’s where we’re going to go James Franco about these Franco chains: They encourage you to develop your own internal sense of self and the ability to think beyond meaningless cultural expectations.

 

That is to say, hey man, however you party, that’s fine with us. Groovy, my guy. Something like that. 

 

Anddd here’s Dave Franco: 

 

The concept of coolness is vague and ever-changing, so don’t expect this bracelet to change you as a person.

 

If you’re going to buy a red or blue Franco chain, our totally reasonable “here’s how to wear this” suggestions are:

 

  • With a polka-dotted outfit! Yeah, we said it.
  • While sporting a pair of flip flops with socks. You heard that right.
  • At your niece’s piano recital. What are you going to do about it?
  • When the next family party gets political. Stir the pot, amiright (or left)?

 

One last note to make sure you know what you’re getting with one of these Franco chains:

 

Is this chain’s whole anti-coolness a facade to mask deeper issues that have been unsettled between you and the concept of what it means to be cool and accepted, so you’re lashing out at the possibility that — regardless of the tendency for “coolness” to be associated with toxicity and easily broken social ties — others could be cool, feel satisfied in their assumption of that cultural role, and also live healthy lives?

 

Look, it’s a men’s chain. So buy it or don’t, whatever.

The Box

Now to the box of fun, wine, rocks, etc. Why are these men’s chains called The Box? Why is anything called anything, really?

 

Seriously, just look at it. The links are square like a box. Wut. 

 

These men’s chains are made of stainless steel and acrylic in your choice of colors. Maybe you’ll wear it, maybe you’ll gift it, maybe you’ll ignore it. We don’t care what you do with it, but here are your options anyway:

 

It is what it is, and that means a durable men’s chain (something about steel…) that’s easy to clean. Let’s be real. There’s a good chance someone wearing a turquoise chain is going to get nasty.

 

How do you do that? Just kind of splash it with soap and water, and you’re good. Take it off when you shower, make mad gains at the gym, and do dishes once a month to keep it looking fresh.

 

Now, how do you wear The Box chain bracelets and necklaces? Around your wrist and neck are options. We don’t have to tell you which goes where, right? 

 

Match your kicks or make a statement. Or don’t. Wear it, change your mind, and send it back if you really want. If you don’t like The Box chains as much as you thought you would, you have 30 days to return them, money back and all.

Pro Tip: Follow Us

We know we’re not the only ones who go to anything involving free food. This is not that, but it’s something from the land of the free.

 

We post sweet discounts and promo codes on our Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. It’s basically free money, but whatever. If you pay full price, that actually works out better for us.

 

Also, grocery stores usually push milk with a later expiration date to the back of the fridge.

Item added to cart.
0 items - $0.00